As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if only i could text you this smell
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize