is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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