I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
