i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He better not be in your backpack
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
