redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
