Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
