so that wasnt chicken after all
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
