You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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