I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
