the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
