I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
