Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
