I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
