i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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