just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's shark week go big or go home
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
