I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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