Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm really into asian looking animals
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
