not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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