Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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