no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
