We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
