maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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