i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize