im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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