Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
