Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Bring me that man meat
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
