ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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