They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
