Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
