I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
