In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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