Little spoons don't ask big questions
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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