Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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