I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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