Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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