Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
