How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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