Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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