I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
