Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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