Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Boobs speak an international language.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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