Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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