Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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