Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
