his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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