You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Alive.
So much puke
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
