She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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