corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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