I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
do herpes really smell.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
