Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
