she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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