u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
