dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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