ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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