Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
