the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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