he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
