Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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