Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Two words: nipple clamps
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