it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
