I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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