ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
