Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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