I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i out mim tonsoeep
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