I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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