some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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