Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I don't deserve a penis
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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