You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
