if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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