Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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