Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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