That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
