He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
