The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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