I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
