Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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